This post is for learning purposes only. It is not a replacement for medical advice or care. If you are in imminent danger right now, dial your local emergency telephone number. In the U.S., call or text 988 for mental health information at any time.
Going through a scary event can change the way you see the world. Once safe environments can now seem as dangerous as ever.
Your brain tries to protect you from being hurt again. Switches on its safety alarm. This is useful in case of emergency. But sometimes, the alarm doesn’t go off even when you’re safe.
It can be difficult to trust others. It can also make you doubt yourself and question your decisions.
On the positive side, these feelings are completely normal after a very frightening experience. With the help, care, and time you can get, you can start feeling safe again.
Our team at Grace Health Clinic & Urgent Care provides mental health services for individuals experiencing difficult times.
What is a Traumatic Event?
A traumatic event isn’t just a bad day. It’s a deeply shocking or frightening experience that shakes you to your core.
Some examples of traumatic events are:
- A serious car accident
- A sudden or serious illness
- The loss of a loved one
- Any act that is deeply shocking and scary
These events can change how you think, feel and act.
According to the American Psychological Association, trauma has a long-lasting cumulative impact on the brain. It can make the world feel less secure.
Trauma is also a major contributor to emotional and mental health, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
How Trauma Rewires Your Brain’s Alarm System
When a dangerous situation arises, your brain decisively activates an internal alarm, ensuring your safety. After a traumatic event, this alarm can get stuck ‘on’.
You may:
- Feel scared even when you are safe
- Feel like danger is always near
- Find it hard to trust other people
- Worry that someone may hurt you again
Constant vigilance can lead to feelings of fatigue and anxiety.
Why Trusting Others Feels So Risky
Trust is a sense of security and confidence that others won’t harm you.
Following trauma, it might seem difficult to believe anyone. Your mind can trick you into believing that people aren’t safe when they hurt you in the past.
You may even turn away family and friends who love you! You may feel that being alone is safer than getting hurt again.
Common Reasons You Might Push Good People Away
- Fears of Abandonment: You think they are going to abandon you in the end
- Expecting Disappointment: You think they will let you down when you need them most
- Feeling Misunderstood: You believe they can’t truly understand your deep pain
- Avoiding surprises: You want to shield yourself from unexpected, bad news
Why You Lose Trust in Yourself
After a traumatic experience, internalizing blame is very common. You may find yourself repeating the scenario and wondering:
- Why didn’t I notice the signs?
- Why did I select that option?
- Why couldn’t I stop it from happening?
Blaming yourself can undermine your confidence, making even simple decisions, like what to wear or eat for lunch, challenging.
Some examples of daily difficulties:
- Difficulty choosing what to eat for lunch
- Trouble deciding what clothes to wear
- Feeling completely lost and overwhelmed
The traumatic event was not your fault. Your brain is trying to make sense of something really frightening. Do not take responsibility for what has happened.
Signs You’re Struggling with Trust
Pay attention to these in your daily experience:
- You tell lies to those who love and care for you
- You feel angry or anxious when someone tries to get close
- You double-check items to ensure safety (e.g., locked door, message)
- You suspect people are lying to you, even when they’re telling the truth
- You constantly doubt your own abilities and call yourself names
If you are feeling this way, you don’t have to deal with it by yourself
Grace Health Clinic & Urgent Care offers same-day visits and a caring team that is ready to listen and help.
How Your Body Holds on to a Lack of Trust
Trust isn’t just a mental state; it’s also physical. If you don’t feel safe, your body stays on high alert.
Physical symptoms you might experience:
- Muscles that are always tight
- Difficulty falling asleep at night
- Frequent stomachaches
- Bad headaches
- Constant fatigue and exhaustion
Your body is working hard to watch for danger. This can use up a lot of your energy.
Small Steps to Regain a Sense of Safety
Healing isn’t a race; take small steps to rebuild trust.
Step 1: Be Kind to Yourself
- Speak to yourself as you would to a family member or best friend.
- Say to yourself, “It’s safe to feel frightened while doing the best that I can.
- Avoid self-criticism and negative self-talk
Step 2: Find One Safe Person
- You don’t have to trust everyone
- Find one person who is a good listener
- Start by sharing small things with them
Take time to develop the relationship slowly
Step 3: Keep a Tiny Promise to Yourself
- Rebuilding self-trust starts with small wins
- Promise yourself you’ll drink a glass of water and then do it
- Each small, kept promise is a signal to your brain that you can rely on yourself
- Gradually increase the size of your promises as you build confidence
Why Reaching Out to a Professional Can Help
Healing without treatment is difficult. It’s more than okay to ask for help.
A health expert can do the following for you:
- Understand how to calm the brain’s stuck alarm system
- Provide you with practical skills to remain safe in your body and mind
- Listen with care and without judgment
- Help you understand that your intense feelings are a logical response to an overwhelming experience
- Provide a safe, supportive space for your healing journey
Start Your Healing Journey Today
If you have these symptoms, please get help and advice from a doctor.
Grace Health Clinic & Urgent Care’s behavioral health team provides full mental wellness assessments, personal counseling and medication management as needed.
We accept new patients and offer highly individualized care. We offer walk-in care, on-site appointments, virtual care and easy online scheduling.
Contact Us:
- Address: 1106 Columbia Ave, Suite 125, Marysville, WA 98270
- Phone: (360) 200-1696
- Email: care@gracehealthclinicuc.com
FAQs
How long does it take to trust again?
There is no set time. Everybody has their own timeline. It can take months or years. Be gentle with yourself and take proactive steps each day.
Will I ever feel like myself again?
Yes. With time, care, and the right help, you can learn to be safe again. You can have a good life and make good relationships.
Why do I feel so tired all the time?
Your mind is extremely active, even subconsciously, trying to determine whether there’s any threat. It’s a high-alert, draining state, and you’re so tired because it takes a lot of energy to stay that way.
If I don’t speak, will I get better?
Healing will be more difficult in a confined space. Relying on a safety person or a physician will help your brain function during the process.
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